final summer studio update

Here are the nearly finished, small fort pieces. I ran out of time in the studio so I'll have to wait until school starts to finish them.


4'x5' Oil on Canvas (also not finished)


Detail of above


..I'll take better pictures later.

Re-watching "Fear (1996)" 15 years later

Warning: There are many 'spoilers' in this 'review'. I you haven't seen Fear. I suggest watching it before reading this, especially if you are a 7 year old. If you have seen Fear, I suggest re-watching it as you read this as a kind of live commentary.


I remember watching Fear when I was around 6 or 7 years old. I have fragmented but distinct memories of watching it in my living room with my family on our old 20 inch TV. We were either watching it on TV or we had picked it out from Blockbuster, but my brother kept mentioning how it was new. He would have been about 13 or 14 at the time. My parents were always pretty good about letting us watch R rated films as small children. This was probably due to my dad's open animosity towards "childish cartoons", and so I ended up watching movies like Fear and Con Air before I could read (I only learned to read in grade 2, my parents were worried).

Fort Paintings (WIP)

Here are two more work in progress 'fort' paintings to go with the one in previous post. They are hopefully going to go in a group show I will be doing in the fall.

Big Painting Work in Progress

Starting a big painting with a week left of summer studio...


I'm posing like a presenter on a game show. It seemed cute at the time.

delayed studio post

I haven't posted in about two weeks. I feel bad about this even though probably no one cares except me and maybe two other people.

I drank coffee out of a novelty sized 'Asterix et Obelix' mug. It holds about three times a normal mug.

I felt 'insane' and tired after drinking it.

There is about a week left of summer studio time before fourth year starts.

I feel like I only just started to take it 'seriously'.

I feel worried often about the inconsistencies between my desire to be productive and my lack of self motivation.

I think I like people more who work really hard and make stuff, and I want to be more like that so people will like me.

I feel like my life up until now has been extremely static and will change drastically in the next year. I imagine it as a squirrel staying very still and alert, pretending not to see me approaching, holding my hand out like I have food for it even though I clearly do not. It observes me warily, shivers slightly, flinches, then bolts up a tree.

I feel like I have had too much caffeine today.

Profound Elephant

i had a dream about an elephant once

the elephant swayed from side to side and rotated in place slowly

it seemed content

i thought, "that elephant is profound"

right now i feel shitty

i have lost the will to do anything

i feel like a zombie sitting at its computer looking at pictures of people it wishes it talked to more in high school

i was at a science fair

my science project seemed misguided and poorly constructed

i was nervous about this, i felt like this was not my fault

outside i saw an elephant with a big, red "15" on it's side

it moved without purpose

i was mesmerized by its movement

i lay on my bed with wide open eyes trying to think of something good

i cannot form a thought

i need to snap out of it/ not be like this

when I snapped out of it, my project was broken

it had fallen over due to its own poor construction

i pointed at it and said "it's looking for a better life"

my teacher gave me a D+

i need to get ready for a thing with friends soon

i don't feel like seeing people right now or moving or putting pants on

but i also don't want to let people down or make them feel like i don't want to see them or make them worry that i'm not ok

so i'll go

i looked outside again

the elephant was lying on the ground

the kids from my class were kicking it

it seemed content

Floor Snacks

The child picked something off the floor and put it in her mouth.

I felt nervous about this, but not enough to say anything.

A lady waiting in line said "Your kid is eating stuff off the floor!" to another lady who replied, "That's not my kid!"

A tired looking woman came in through the store entrance and scolded the little girl and dragged her off.

The little girl had a fit and didn't spit out whatever was in her mouth.

An elderly black woman with gray hair, which had been poorly dyed red in some areas, gave me a knowing look and spoke to me as if I were her childhood friend.

"They don't listen to their parents like we did, do they? When we were their age we had to listen or we got smacked."

She smiled and nudged me with her elbow and laughed in a way that suggested I had grown up in the same era and shared her same fond experiences of corporal punishment.

I smiled back and paid for my coke zero.