17 July 2011

Profound Elephant

i had a dream about an elephant once

the elephant swayed from side to side and rotated in place slowly

it seemed content

i thought, "that elephant is profound"

right now i feel shitty

i have lost the will to do anything

i feel like a zombie sitting at its computer looking at pictures of people it wishes it talked to more in high school

i was at a science fair

my science project seemed misguided and poorly constructed

i was nervous about this, i felt like this was not my fault

outside i saw an elephant with a big, red "15" on it's side

it moved without purpose

i was mesmerized by its movement

i lay on my bed with wide open eyes trying to think of something good

i cannot form a thought

i need to snap out of it/ not be like this

when I snapped out of it, my project was broken

it had fallen over due to its own poor construction

i pointed at it and said "it's looking for a better life"

my teacher gave me a D+

i need to get ready for a thing with friends soon

i don't feel like seeing people right now or moving or putting pants on

but i also don't want to let people down or make them feel like i don't want to see them or make them worry that i'm not ok

so i'll go

i looked outside again

the elephant was lying on the ground

the kids from my class were kicking it

it seemed content

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